An Advent of Sense

And then there were none. The chances all gone. To remind me of why I stayed here so long. Why have I lingered feeling empty inside? Its time to run on, and never to hide. I'm quietly searching for some place brand new, To make memories fresh like the dew. And now I'm fulfilled And its all thanks to you.

So afraid to let him know What I am too cautious to show Should I reveal what's on my mind I'm afraid what he might find Do I speak what's on my heart I need to stop but I want to start Too terrified to let him see How his touch is affecting me Usually so sure of myself But with him I'm someone else Near to him I'm a woman new Our eyes connect, I don't know what to do I have courage to move at my own pace And he understands that love is not a race We're journeying and enjoying the view Sturdy my heart and love him through and through Time together reminds me again That when two hearts race, both will win. (April 23, 2012)

Thank you Allah for the life I've been given. Kind words to Jesus for being forgiven. Krishna is due much appreciation. Eternal thanksgiving for Brahma's creation. Much obliged to Yahweh for all that he's doing. And the storms of life that Jehovah is brewing. One time for Aslan and all of the stories. And many times for God and all of His glories.

Now I'm left feeling so ugly And I don't matter Because you don't love me. All I can feel is this hollow These are my words but I can't swallow Them down. What am I saying? I'm better than this But you took everything When you took my kiss. Now all that's here is a shadow of me I fell hard like a meteor into the sea. And I'll change my mind in about an hour I'll be so over you And I'll start to flower Again. I'll start to feel like a phoenix Rising up, charred But then it all clicks Again. It's a vicious circle. And I'm riding the revolutions like a wave.

Wallow through the wooden walkway Replace my radio and accessories to their rightful receptacles Allow myself an acceptable argument of advancing Do I dive into my desired deed or do the dull? Take a timid tap of tea from the tawny stovetop Glance at the glimmering gaunt of illegality Sip and steal another sight of secrecy Lament the lame liquid and laud the lovely life-changers Bind my brain to these books and become their best friends Choose a chance to check these charts and challenges Pieces of prose to put the pangs at peace Finally I finish my flirtation and find a fable Many a minute I make myself moony with these marvels Vivid vindications of la vie viral These are the things that thoroughly thwart thought How could hellions hide these helpers of humanity? Surely shame is shucked upon those charlatans Yet I will yield to them and yearn for my yellowing friends. I doubt that I will ever be free Without these dogs chasing me.

Easy breezy beautiful shell shock Lips whisper buried secrets but I don’t need them Louder voices scream empty laughter and gurgles of noise From walls that are blank and feed my mind Who was I once in the past? What is the fire that I recall searing my brain With thought and theory? Now all scorched by flames of oppression… Or is it?  Wait, is it?  What?  What?!?!  WHAT??? What was it. I can’t recall.  I don’t care.  I have my family. All I need, all I need, all I need… But where is Guy?  Pour myself another drink, shake, stir, clink of the ice cubes Listen to the voices in my ear like vespers of the ocean Sirens calling to me… All I need, all I need, all I need… Settle back down for another thoughtless voyage On the sea of ease. Easy breezy beautiful shell of me.

Come with me. Come with me and know the etchings in my skin. Come and know the depths of my soul, Where it begins and never ends. Come with me. Come with me and see the weathered look of my face Where tears have carved out canyons They rush down in a twisted race. Come with me. Come and feel the fever in my mind And the passions in my body. Leave all the lies behind And you shall surely know me. Find me out And tell me what you discover. Feelings are real because I’ve never felt another. Know me through, From the inside out. Give it time, and there will be no doubt That I’m forever yours. Surely, I’m forever yours. Truly, I’m forever yours. -2011

It was as if the sky was dying. It screamed and seethed and sounded. It ripped and roared and reared its ugly head. It tore and trembled and took its last deep breaths. It shook and shivered and shredded. It ranted and raved and resounded its final song. It quaked and quivered and quailed. It gashed and guttered and gave its sad farewell. It fumed and frothed and fought. And then, with a final rip, tear, and shake, The heavens slit open and bore A sun like no other With firmament mother For all of the world to adore. -4/26/2011