An Advent of Sense

I thought that it was him. The sweet syrup words that I wanted so desperately to coat my ears and fuel my heart. Just a morsel of verse to satiate the pangs and bites of famine. And when I ingested those honey phrases they filled my hopelessly horribly romantic being to the brim. But that was not near as filling as the cherry hue that made my face full when I realized that those confection affections were not of him, but of another. A sickly sweet ploy To make me love the boy. Instead, I hunger for his empty words. I thought that it was him. (June 3, 2012)

YOU. you are always watching, never wanting never speaking, always taunting and your presence, so completely daunting that I am at a loss for words. HA.  That's not true, cuz here I go rambling I have constitution, and feelings, yet I'm STILL preambling your stare is so destructive and shambling... Why can't I look away? If I were to choose, you would never be leaving but you frighten me so much that it's almost deceiving that I WANT  you so much, so I CAN'T stop believing that your complexity feeds my soul. (June 2, 2012)

Is it alright to not always know? The wondering hurts so badly That sometimes my body ripples And clenches with aches Trying to fight off the harrowing fear that circumstances may have changed. Absence makes the heart grow fonder Sure, but Distance makes the mind ponder. What if I have evolved so completely That my heart no longer burns? No, it can't be true That I am no longer wanted, Or want, or need, or feel, or love Him Who makes my world spin so quickly. (July 12, 2012)

Sweet music, from wells of my being Tenderness of my fingertips And hollows of my throat Tell out my humbled soul. Enable me, Master of mine, To emit only light and Rivers, Oceans, Streams, and Waves of sound. (June 20, 2012)

More oft than naught we are blind to the music of our eyes. When graced with sweetest song, we do not hear. Now, I know my melody preferred in thy heart lies. Lo, you're gone and my new attuned eyes sing tears. (June 20, 2012)

You are a first... for everything it seems. I look at you and finally I see. I touch you But only now do I feel. I thought I had A knack for listening Now I know You speak and I hear. And if I catch that fragrance of you I'm aware that I never smelled a man before. Oh My God. When I taste you... My heart is full But I'm hungry for more. I must have been dead For I feel my senses come alive when I'm near to you... And when with you... I've never wanted  needed anyone more. (April 16, 2012)

What is this Feeling I can't even Speak For lack of words... Mouth waters Toes curl Back arches Lips part I ache for him Because I want him. (April 16, 2012)

Stay true, love. Stay the course of my heart. You're not always given what you feel you need. Promises, promises... Someday you will receive it. And when I try your nerves and you want to see less of me (though secretly more!), Remember the feelings I evoked in you. the laughter the happiness the love Someday you will realize Simply what you need All other needs simply secondary. My love Will be the only thing you need. Stay, Promise, Remember, Realize My Love. (January 5, 2011)

I want to write the words and sing the songs that will make a change in your heart. I want to be the one that you think fondly of when you gaze up at the stars. I want to be your inspiration the force behind your soul and hands. I want you to listen, respect, and honor all my secret, hidden plans. I want your body to sizzle with the anticipation of seeing me. I want everything around us to change, but always leave us be. But more than I want to write, to be, to inspire, or to woo. More than anything in my heart More than anything I want you. (January 5, 2011)

Sometimes I see your smile And I wonder if you know how beautiful it is. How can the whole room not light up? Maybe it's just the corner I'm in. How can one expression be so inspiring that all I can do is stop and stare? And I swear I'd do almost anything If I was the one to make it happen once more. It's just like that hopeful moment Right before the sun rises. A few strokes of blended light And then an expression of color and dimension. With your smile you stop shows, wars, and hearts. Or maybe just mine? One last request, o sunshine man Smile one more time. : ) (December 14, 2010)

So many I've gone through So many have pleased. But those I was pleased by were not pleased by me. So many I've longed for So many have smiled But I think I have a heart like of a child. So many have spoken So many can see But they are all blind for not wanting me. So many have looked So many have heard But are deaf to the language of love sick words. So many I've dreamt of So many I've teased But again, so many, it seems, are not pleased. Perhaps not many I should be looking for But perhaps just one, to love and adore. (December 14, 2010)

she's black he's white over there they're brown. why is this an issue living in a one-horse town? we are not different races but it's difficult to see a race is a competition that's not what life should be. when you're called a bland color it's easy to take offense so we should brighten up these words let the re-naming commence! she's midnight raven he's snowy dove over there they're oaken partridge too. our colorful, beautiful rainbow of life should take flight with the birds of hue! (December 13, 2010)

Greet AHOY to the legacy Set sail to the cloudless expanse of sea Where songs float like birds and wild dreams run And weary sailors find comfort in the sun. As the nights roll by and the days roar on The sea tosses and turns with vicious moan Repenting not for the lives it takes But, as seapeople know, high are the stakes When the call of the ripples echo in your mind... Take to the sea and leave all behind! (December 13, 2010)

Why doesn't he see? Why doesn't he care? Why doesn't he notice that I'm always there? All the memories it seems That I'm trying to push behind the scenes. I wonder if it ever crossed his mind That the girl he'd been trying to find Was the one with laughter in her eyes. Couldn't tell if he was friend-flirting Now I know from the heart hurting. And I will never be able to cry Because with tears in my eyes I won't be able to see his Blue as the skies. And though....he still doesn't know. : ( (November 4, 2008)

A burning heart sears encased in a burning shell Scorched from the flames of the fiery pits of hell. For surely it is hell to be in unrequited love, Though surely the one with whom your affections lie is from above. For truly I tell you, it seemed my heart had stopped, that I had died When he stared at me and the cold flames of his heart replied, "Nay, I do not love thee, nor I have, nor I will." My rejected heart and I, ever-searing still. January 24, 2009

See the rugged photo on the sill, What lies beyond the gleaming faces still? A picture is a pose, how can it be proof? From a frozen smile can you draw the truth? What secret and what tale is hidden far beneath? Horrifying wonder, malicious love, perhaps anxious relief? Is there trickery to detect in the eyes? Do they reflect a plethora of lies? Or are they as they seem to be, Showing no trace of misery? How to decipher what broods behind The picture perfect frame of mind. (December 21, 2009)

The emptiness drowns me. Isn't that funny? How something with nothing Could be so overwhelming. When you're surrounded by Nothing Nothing but Nothing matters. It's almost as if Nothing is important. And when nothing surrounds you And swallows you whole, Emptiness takes over To fill up that hole. It's almost as if Emptiness is the filler. (August 4, 2009)