So Now I Am Nothing

So can you honestly tell me
that you felt nothing?
Well congratulations, now I am
Nothing.
How could you do that to me.
Let me give my heart to you
when you knew I would jump in headfirst
and tear that organ out of my chest
put it through a shredder
or a meatgrinder...
I want you to feel like shit.
...but I really don't.
I want you to do what makes you happy.
I don't want you to live a lie.
And the crazy thing is that I don't want you to hurt
Because I love you so much.

Comments

Best Movies/TV from 2020

BEST MOVIES/TV (I'VE SEEN) IN 2020 I don't know about you, but for me this wacked out year has resulted in lots of homebound free time. Besides the lack of social interactions, 2020 also saw me unemployed, out of school, and without a car most of the time. This gave me a LOT of time to watch movies and television and I love visual storytelling, so this year I've kept a list of my favorites! And I'm challenging myself to tell you why I love them in 3 sentences or less (spoiler: I don't succeed). There aren't any overt STORY spoilers as I can tell, but I do mention major themes/concepts in each of the pieces, so be aware. I was fortunate to have access to streaming services through friends and family, with most of my viewing being through Netflix and Amazon Prime Video. **Hot tax tip that I really hope I'm right about: If you have a media production business (film, photo, audio, music, etc.) you can write off subscriptions on your taxes. Keep that in mind...

Angry Fling Letter

To whom it probably doesn't concern, I wanted to address this most recent news because it seems to me like you're kind of confused. As a preface, the topic is not about you it's signed 'yours truly,' concerns what I need to do. When I decide to move on from this relationship b/c it is no longer feeding who I am and/or I have forgotten how to feed myself, You, like so many other men before you, have the gall to tell me that surely I must have committed some unspoken infidelitous act to be convinced that I have room to grow. Yes, it seems you think that my body, like clay molded by unscrupulous potters has been pulled in another direction, kneading me until I need them. Yes, please, be my guest blame my libido when I tell you I need to know that I can stand by myself. Like the only drive in my life that could influence me to leave you is a sexual one. No, my friend, I didn't need to dip my toe into the sea of empty relations to...

Thoughts and Images from the Greenville, NC "Send Her Back" Trump Rally

Tuesday July 23, 2019 I don’t recall any specific faces or themes, but I know I had a stressful dream the night before the Trump rally that shocked the world with the “Send her back” chants. In the many hours leading up to the event, when I knew Greenville citizens and out-of-town travelers alike were already lining up outside of ECU’s Minges Coliseum, I worried for my town. Part of me really didn’t want to witness any of it (in addition to warnings of oppressive 90-something degree heat), but I convinced myself that this was an important day in history and that it may be useful, indeed illuminating, to document it. I was tense as I readied my lens, poised to capture anything, preparing myself for violence, even. But to be honest, I’ve felt more threatened in a Walmart parking lot. This latter half of the rally had the energy of a heavily attended church barbecue, not a political event. I was terribly curious about the people in my region who support Trump—I wante...

Flower Buds on Finger Tips

I loved her in the the lonely way that the earth begs for warmth a hope for spring and bursting. I offered her flower buds on my finger tips ripe with waiting for kiss to bloom. I folded and unfolded my petals, slick with morning dew eager for her gaze please, look inside me. I carved out a space into which we both could grow I prayed for harvest and hid daydreams in the hollows of my neck.

Reigniting your flame

I've been burning out. How do I reignite my flame? I remember how I was taught to build a fire... Oxygen, fuel, and care, he said Oxygen, fuel, and care... Oxygen as the breath of life Deep, appreciative respiration Recycling energy Release what doesn't feed you Bring in wisdom and growth. Fuel being things that the body consumes Or that consume the body Vigor and wellness in the physical world Satisfying the primal appetites A positive charge of chemicals. Building a fire takes time It calls for patience and vigilance Always tending to the flame Nurturing sparks into brilliant heat There is no spontaneous combustion. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oxygen is the primarily mental and metaphysical component Fuel is the bodily component Care is the temporal component You are part of everything Be in yourself Let go.

An Advent of Sense

Search This Blog